08/11/2018 AUCTION NEWS
I hope someone
feels really bad for me and will STOP THE INSANITY! Today is the first day in a
week that I was able to send out email. I had forgotten my password for
godaddy.com. Once I got that going again, I had to change my Outlook password.
Several times, whatever I had selected was promptly rejected because I was not
allowed to reuse one of my last 5 passwords. I really like to know what comedian
came up with that idea! After I carefully set my Outlook, all was well – or so I
thought! When I did the test mail, I found out that the outgoing mail refused
AGAIN. Does anyone know where I can ‘get courier pigeons? And did you know that,
when you can’t remember just one or two password, it won’t take long before
others follow suit. Perhaps the heat is responsible for causing brain outages.
I received this
from Mike O’Hora: Thank you, Mike!
WHAT AISLE IS THE
POLISH SAUSAGE IN? Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice'
A customer asked,
"In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks,
"Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly
offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
If I had asked
for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked
for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for
a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked
for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for
some Whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says,
"No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says,
"Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm
replied, "Because you're in Ace Hardware."
Another THANK YOU
for Judy Brown for this:
These are better than the Darwin Awards.
1. AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. Right,
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who
had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,
officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police
line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'
3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B?
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. *THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police
showed up and grabbed him.
5. *DID I SAY THAT?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in
the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the
man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'
6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING?
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the
doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'
7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a
Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
8. *THE GRAND FINALE!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour
east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem.
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot
boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how
much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they
putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them
what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect
working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and
the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys
jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the
*Now remember, these are all true stories, these people vote and most
At the risk of sounding once again like a broken record; please check
www.cnyauctions.com for what is coming up in auctions and have a really
to visit cnyauctions.com